Getting Lei-ed
So, today was the day of my cousin Britty's Grad party.
It was also the first family function since the Blog debaucle of March.
It was interesting, let me tell you.
The party was a luau theme, and it was kind of fun. Great food. Shrimp, oysters, clams, ribs, and I made my famous spinach dip in pumpernickel bread bowl. (I always make it, it's my signature dish. Well, that and my peppermint brownies.) There was a tiki bar, and I had me some awesome strawberry daquaris. I was with my parents though, so only two were with the alcohol. They brought out the Bucking Bronco, and everyone took turns getting thrown off by the mechanical bull. (I didn't partake. I only do when there aren't loads of people to watch me make an ass out of myself. Plus, I was wearing my fabulous new Blue capris, and I didn't want to ruin them on their maiden voyage.)
I spent the bulk of the time talking to the few fam members who don't hate me, and the rest talking to the other side of Britty's fam, which honestly, is really like mine, except for the fact I lack the same genetic make up. I've known them all my life, and I call their grandparents Grandma and Grandpa and their aunts and uncles with the prefix before their names.
Just so you know.
Eddykins is up! Eddykins is up! I love my Eddykins. (He's my cousin's cousin, but I grew up with him, so he's related without being related.) It was great to see him, especially since he lives out in Wyoming right now. I miss him like crazy.
He was S-M-A-S-H-E-D!!!!!
First off, lets remember that this was a luau theme. We get there at 2pm, and I find out from Kate that he's been drinking since 11am. (He's not an alcoholic, he just gets nervous in big crowds, and gets drunk to loosen himself up. Only sometimes he takes it too far, like at his mother's wedding. The boy was supposed to walk her down the aisle, and I'm still surprised that he wa able to walk in a straight line.)
He was dressed in a hula skirt, two leis, and a coconut bra. (I couldn't resist. I had to compliment him on his knockers. Sorry I'm so irritatingly cliche. I'll try to contain it in the future.) And he's already bobbing and weaving. And hugging everyone just a bit too long.
HE HIT ON ME!!!
He hit on every girl. I was probably one of the few there that wasn't completely innapropriate for him to do so. Because I'm not technically related. He hit on his cousins. He hit on his mother's best friend who changed his diapers. He hit on Wickey, the 50 year old owner of the barn my cousin's ride for and board their horses. I have honestly never seen him that drunk before. And I've seen him pretty drunk before.
So basically, I spent about three hours taking drinks away from him. And so did my Auntie MJ, and Uncle Leo. And it was a full time job. I acutally had to pull a bottle out of his pants pocket. He was getting crafty, that is until he passed out on the lawn next to the volleyball court. And we brought out the shaving cream and the electric razor. (He wouldn't shave his chest hair. So Kate and I took it upon ourselves to dehair him. He's actually presentable to the world now.) They also took out the magic markers, and proceeded to draw on him. (Nothing that can't be covered by a tee shirt, that was the rule.) And it was pretty fun. He's great about stuff like that, provided that no permanent damage is done. Plus, he'd do it to us too!
So now I'm back at home, after stuffing myself full of cake and shellfish.
I love parties. Especially ones that the fam members who currently dont like me are completely uncomfortable at. I love parties.
Katherine
It was also the first family function since the Blog debaucle of March.
It was interesting, let me tell you.
The party was a luau theme, and it was kind of fun. Great food. Shrimp, oysters, clams, ribs, and I made my famous spinach dip in pumpernickel bread bowl. (I always make it, it's my signature dish. Well, that and my peppermint brownies.) There was a tiki bar, and I had me some awesome strawberry daquaris. I was with my parents though, so only two were with the alcohol. They brought out the Bucking Bronco, and everyone took turns getting thrown off by the mechanical bull. (I didn't partake. I only do when there aren't loads of people to watch me make an ass out of myself. Plus, I was wearing my fabulous new Blue capris, and I didn't want to ruin them on their maiden voyage.)
I spent the bulk of the time talking to the few fam members who don't hate me, and the rest talking to the other side of Britty's fam, which honestly, is really like mine, except for the fact I lack the same genetic make up. I've known them all my life, and I call their grandparents Grandma and Grandpa and their aunts and uncles with the prefix before their names.
Just so you know.
Eddykins is up! Eddykins is up! I love my Eddykins. (He's my cousin's cousin, but I grew up with him, so he's related without being related.) It was great to see him, especially since he lives out in Wyoming right now. I miss him like crazy.
He was S-M-A-S-H-E-D!!!!!
First off, lets remember that this was a luau theme. We get there at 2pm, and I find out from Kate that he's been drinking since 11am. (He's not an alcoholic, he just gets nervous in big crowds, and gets drunk to loosen himself up. Only sometimes he takes it too far, like at his mother's wedding. The boy was supposed to walk her down the aisle, and I'm still surprised that he wa able to walk in a straight line.)
He was dressed in a hula skirt, two leis, and a coconut bra. (I couldn't resist. I had to compliment him on his knockers. Sorry I'm so irritatingly cliche. I'll try to contain it in the future.) And he's already bobbing and weaving. And hugging everyone just a bit too long.
HE HIT ON ME!!!
He hit on every girl. I was probably one of the few there that wasn't completely innapropriate for him to do so. Because I'm not technically related. He hit on his cousins. He hit on his mother's best friend who changed his diapers. He hit on Wickey, the 50 year old owner of the barn my cousin's ride for and board their horses. I have honestly never seen him that drunk before. And I've seen him pretty drunk before.
So basically, I spent about three hours taking drinks away from him. And so did my Auntie MJ, and Uncle Leo. And it was a full time job. I acutally had to pull a bottle out of his pants pocket. He was getting crafty, that is until he passed out on the lawn next to the volleyball court. And we brought out the shaving cream and the electric razor. (He wouldn't shave his chest hair. So Kate and I took it upon ourselves to dehair him. He's actually presentable to the world now.) They also took out the magic markers, and proceeded to draw on him. (Nothing that can't be covered by a tee shirt, that was the rule.) And it was pretty fun. He's great about stuff like that, provided that no permanent damage is done. Plus, he'd do it to us too!
So now I'm back at home, after stuffing myself full of cake and shellfish.
I love parties. Especially ones that the fam members who currently dont like me are completely uncomfortable at. I love parties.
Katherine
posted by rosie4299 at 7:43 PM
7 Comments:
wow, from your description, your family parties are wilder than some of the college parties I can remember. . . not that I remember *all* of them. I drink to loosen up too, :)
But not quite like this boy. I'm loving the visual of the shaving and the drawing. I sort of hope that makes its way into one of your fics. Maybe Mollie and Rory could gang up on Graham. .
I'll stop now.
:) a
So funny you mention Mollie and Rory having fun with a razor and shaving cream...
Be on the lookout for a very near future chappie entitled: The Purple People Eaters Go Antiquing!
Well, I was excited about your next chapter before, but now I'm all atwitter :)
That was hilarious. I've done something similar with the shavung cream and razor and pens. Tons! Eddie sounds funny despite the hitting thing. I've gone through something similar with my cousin's cousins... brothers, no less. It was funny but I told them, no.
I'm glad you still had a good time despite the family trouble.
~M
ATWITTER!!!!
Yep, Eddie is definately one of my favorite non-relations. We all grew up with each other here in the Poconos, so now that he's out in Wyoming most of the year, I miss him oodles.
He's a lot of fun, drunk or sober.
Oh, and honestly, all the college parties I've been to, even at party schools in the area, have absolutly nothing on my family parties.
Who do you think taught all of us how to drink? And my cousin's grandma can drink any college kid under the table. It's crazy. I swear, she's got a hollow leg with a hole in the bottom!
K
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