Martians and Venutians

So, I just got an email from a buddy of mine. It's a quick guide into the complex language of women. Guys, have you ever wondered what we're really saying? If so, please read. And take notes. That way, the next time you say something stupid, you can look it up, and you'll know why.

• FINE- This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
• FIVE MINUTES- If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
• NOTHING- This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
• GO AHEAD- This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
• LOUD SIGH- This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
• THAT'S OKAY- This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
• THANKS- A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

And there we have it. A short, but pretty accurate list of the things that we say that are really saying something else entirely. Like I said before, boys, learn these. It will really make your life so much easier.

Katherine