Posterchild
Okay, so I just got home from work.
It was insane. There were so many people, I thought that I was going to kill someone. I was supposed to go in at 3pm, but for some reason I wrote down 1pm. I think that I was looking at Peej's schedule, as he is the line below me. But at any rate, I showed up for work two hours early.
It wasn't too bad. I did get to go and check out the pretties at BCBG and Enzo. I'm in love with a ton of the dresses in Max Azaria's new line. They are fabulous. There's this one with a semi low neckline that is kind of revealing in a tasteful way. In other words, I don't look like too much of a slut in it. It'll be nice when Peej drags me and Nicole to the club with him.
I also got a copy of 'The Age of Innocence' by Edith Wharton. SCORE! I love the book, but I accidentally left it on a bench outside of The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I thought it was in my bag, and it turns out, it wasn't. And I haven't been able to find a decent copy of it since. Or, I'd find a copy, but something else would tickle my fancy that I haven't read. (cough... Lovely Bones... cough) Now I have a copy again. I can't wait to reread the tale of Newland Archer.
So, once I actually got out on the floor, I discovered that it was Anklebiter hour. There were so many kids in the store, running, beating each other with our balloons that they yanked from displays, and screaming. Rich made one cry when he took the balloon away and wouldn't give it back. I laughed. (Does that make me a bad person?)
But there was this one family. Oh. My. God. Talk about Trailer Trash. Usually, we get a higher clientele at the Zod, since golf is a ritzy sport. But every once in a while, namely when we have a good clearance sale (like the 70% off this weekend) we get a more diverse crowd.
The wife was wearing stirrup pants. I haven't seen a store sell stirrup pants since I was in the third grade. (and that was about 11 years ago, to give you some idea) Plus, she wasn't wearing a bra, and her boobs were hanging down by her knees. If she raised her arms too high, her shirt was going to lift too far, and Bam! Live show at the Zod! The husband was super skinny, with about three hairs that he had combed to the front of his head. Together they looked like Jack Sprat and his wife.
And their children were like Damien and the girl from the Exorcist, preexocism. Evil, demon children. They were running all over the place, screaming and cursing. And when Nor told the six year old boy to stop swearing, the mother turned around and said "Will you stop Fucking cursing! This is a fucking nice place!" What class, right? The little girl, who was about twelve, said "F- U Mom.! " If I ever, EVER, told my mother to do that, she would deck me before I even had the second syllable out. My mom is the kind of person who threatened to wash my mouth out with soap when I said "this sucks." I would die if I ever actually swore in front of her.
It gets better. The little boy goes over to his mother a little while later and says, "I have to take a piss." I was stunned. I, a twenty year old college student, have never in my life said that. And a six year old is saying it. The mother turns to me and says "Do you have a bathroom my son can use?" We do, and in some extreme cases, like tiny children who won't make it to the food court, we do let people use the bathroom. But I wasn't going to let them in to my bathroom. We ran out of Lysol with that last strain of the flu we had go through the store. So I told her no, and that she had to go to the food court. She gets all huffy, and pulls her son outside. A moment later, a customer asked me to check the size of a pair of shorts on our window display, and I go to the front of the store to see what size it was. My jaw hit the floor.
Outside, right in front of Calvin Klien, the little boy is peeing on the lawn. Well actually, with the way that he was swinging his little pepe from side to side, it was half on the lawn and half on the sidewalk, hitting the bench leg a few times. The mother was letting him pee on the front lawn of the shopping complex! She actually pulled down his pants and let him go. And I'm not talking like pulled them down just enough. She whipped them down to his ankles!
I gasp, going "OH MY GOD!" I have never in my life seen anyone pee on the lawn of the mall. I mean, this is an upscale shopping complex. Lots of nice expensive stores. My manager Nor comes over, because I'm staring out the window, along with the nice, sweet old lady that asked me for the shorts, completly in shock. So she comes over, and can't believe it. I mean, there is a little boy peeing on the lawn!
The mother comes back into the store, little boy in tow, and sees us staring at her like "Oh my God, you just let your son pee on the lawn. What kind of a mother are you?" and acutally says, "what?"
WHAT?
WHAT?
Finally, after I followed them around with the clorox clean up wipes for twenty minutes, the family got the hint. They left. And they acted like I put them out. Like we were the ones that were wrong.
Then, when I was ringing out the sweet old lady and her son, (I think) the man, (kinda cute. Dark, wavy hair, deep brown eyes, and nice olivy skin. I'm thinking Greek. After all, the credit card they paid with said Antonopolous.) he turns to me and said, referring to the foul mouthed, dirty little boy who peed on the grass, "That was definately the posterchild for Birth control!"
It's true. Fact is stranger than fiction. You can't make this stuff up!
Katherine
It was insane. There were so many people, I thought that I was going to kill someone. I was supposed to go in at 3pm, but for some reason I wrote down 1pm. I think that I was looking at Peej's schedule, as he is the line below me. But at any rate, I showed up for work two hours early.
It wasn't too bad. I did get to go and check out the pretties at BCBG and Enzo. I'm in love with a ton of the dresses in Max Azaria's new line. They are fabulous. There's this one with a semi low neckline that is kind of revealing in a tasteful way. In other words, I don't look like too much of a slut in it. It'll be nice when Peej drags me and Nicole to the club with him.
I also got a copy of 'The Age of Innocence' by Edith Wharton. SCORE! I love the book, but I accidentally left it on a bench outside of The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I thought it was in my bag, and it turns out, it wasn't. And I haven't been able to find a decent copy of it since. Or, I'd find a copy, but something else would tickle my fancy that I haven't read. (cough... Lovely Bones... cough) Now I have a copy again. I can't wait to reread the tale of Newland Archer.
So, once I actually got out on the floor, I discovered that it was Anklebiter hour. There were so many kids in the store, running, beating each other with our balloons that they yanked from displays, and screaming. Rich made one cry when he took the balloon away and wouldn't give it back. I laughed. (Does that make me a bad person?)
But there was this one family. Oh. My. God. Talk about Trailer Trash. Usually, we get a higher clientele at the Zod, since golf is a ritzy sport. But every once in a while, namely when we have a good clearance sale (like the 70% off this weekend) we get a more diverse crowd.
The wife was wearing stirrup pants. I haven't seen a store sell stirrup pants since I was in the third grade. (and that was about 11 years ago, to give you some idea) Plus, she wasn't wearing a bra, and her boobs were hanging down by her knees. If she raised her arms too high, her shirt was going to lift too far, and Bam! Live show at the Zod! The husband was super skinny, with about three hairs that he had combed to the front of his head. Together they looked like Jack Sprat and his wife.
And their children were like Damien and the girl from the Exorcist, preexocism. Evil, demon children. They were running all over the place, screaming and cursing. And when Nor told the six year old boy to stop swearing, the mother turned around and said "Will you stop Fucking cursing! This is a fucking nice place!" What class, right? The little girl, who was about twelve, said "F- U Mom.! " If I ever, EVER, told my mother to do that, she would deck me before I even had the second syllable out. My mom is the kind of person who threatened to wash my mouth out with soap when I said "this sucks." I would die if I ever actually swore in front of her.
It gets better. The little boy goes over to his mother a little while later and says, "I have to take a piss." I was stunned. I, a twenty year old college student, have never in my life said that. And a six year old is saying it. The mother turns to me and says "Do you have a bathroom my son can use?" We do, and in some extreme cases, like tiny children who won't make it to the food court, we do let people use the bathroom. But I wasn't going to let them in to my bathroom. We ran out of Lysol with that last strain of the flu we had go through the store. So I told her no, and that she had to go to the food court. She gets all huffy, and pulls her son outside. A moment later, a customer asked me to check the size of a pair of shorts on our window display, and I go to the front of the store to see what size it was. My jaw hit the floor.
Outside, right in front of Calvin Klien, the little boy is peeing on the lawn. Well actually, with the way that he was swinging his little pepe from side to side, it was half on the lawn and half on the sidewalk, hitting the bench leg a few times. The mother was letting him pee on the front lawn of the shopping complex! She actually pulled down his pants and let him go. And I'm not talking like pulled them down just enough. She whipped them down to his ankles!
I gasp, going "OH MY GOD!" I have never in my life seen anyone pee on the lawn of the mall. I mean, this is an upscale shopping complex. Lots of nice expensive stores. My manager Nor comes over, because I'm staring out the window, along with the nice, sweet old lady that asked me for the shorts, completly in shock. So she comes over, and can't believe it. I mean, there is a little boy peeing on the lawn!
The mother comes back into the store, little boy in tow, and sees us staring at her like "Oh my God, you just let your son pee on the lawn. What kind of a mother are you?" and acutally says, "what?"
WHAT?
WHAT?
Finally, after I followed them around with the clorox clean up wipes for twenty minutes, the family got the hint. They left. And they acted like I put them out. Like we were the ones that were wrong.
Then, when I was ringing out the sweet old lady and her son, (I think) the man, (kinda cute. Dark, wavy hair, deep brown eyes, and nice olivy skin. I'm thinking Greek. After all, the credit card they paid with said Antonopolous.) he turns to me and said, referring to the foul mouthed, dirty little boy who peed on the grass, "That was definately the posterchild for Birth control!"
It's true. Fact is stranger than fiction. You can't make this stuff up!
Katherine
posted by rosie4299 at 8:16 PM
1 Comments:
wow.
*speechless*
just, wow.
there really should be some sort of screening process for people to reproduce. yikes. there are just certain people who shouldn't be in charge of raising other human beings and then letting them loose into society.
i hope they pay you well. . .
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