Bad Boyfriend
I know he's not my boyfriend. He's my boy, he's my friend, but those two words have yet to be united.
So maybe, just maybe I should stop treating him as such.
Well, at least this is a little bit of what Rinna and I chatted about when I threw my sorry, pathetic little but on the mercy of the court this afternoon. I never had any real worries about making up with her, because we've been buds since the sandbox, one of those rare, non fairweather friends one makes while in grade/junior/high school. We've fought a lot, as we are both way, way to opinionated and firey to not fight.
I explained where I was mentally yesterday, and she understood. She's one of three people in my RL who know about my adoration for my Matt. Not that I'm ashamed by him, or my possible relationship with him, but there are so few people who can keep a secret in my world, unless threatened with their own life (ie, Dennis. Ames knows what I'm talking about!) But also, I don't want to go around and discuss this with any of them unless I know that there is anything to discuss.
Rinna is one of those rare individuals who know me so well, that she knows the root of my problem before I know it. And so, when we were talking about Matt and the whole non boyfriend capacity that he currently resides in, she caught root of most of the problem before I could catch up.
Like how I am projecting my desires for him and I to be more than we are onto where we are now, and not giving him any of the non boyfriend wiggle room that he should have. Ie, getting to comment on JS. (Rolling eyes. I still think that he should know better, but I'm not the one who's majoring in Psych.) He's totally free to do so, and it's like when I tell him that I'm in love with Finn (Except that it SO isn't!) We are free to make comments on stuff like that, because we're NOT ATTACHED TO EACH OTHER.
I hate it when she's right.
She also thinks that I'm picking fights with him. Which is probably true. She thinks I'm frustrated. Which is true. She thinks I need some action. Which is true.
However, I can't seem to apprecitate any guys that aren't Matt or Australian.
Hence my problem.
Gah!
So that leaves me sitting here, listening to Bad Boyfriend, by Garbage, DLing all sorts of crap from LW. Frustrated.
And I didn't let the 'dying alone' comment go. She did apologize. We both tend to lose our tempers really quickly, especially with each other. It's that whole 'I can get mad at you because I know that you'll still love me, no matter what' thing you get with the friends that you've had for eons and know will never leave you for someone better.
Besides, there isn't anyone better. I'm pretty awesome, if I do say so myself!
Katherine
So maybe, just maybe I should stop treating him as such.
Well, at least this is a little bit of what Rinna and I chatted about when I threw my sorry, pathetic little but on the mercy of the court this afternoon. I never had any real worries about making up with her, because we've been buds since the sandbox, one of those rare, non fairweather friends one makes while in grade/junior/high school. We've fought a lot, as we are both way, way to opinionated and firey to not fight.
I explained where I was mentally yesterday, and she understood. She's one of three people in my RL who know about my adoration for my Matt. Not that I'm ashamed by him, or my possible relationship with him, but there are so few people who can keep a secret in my world, unless threatened with their own life (ie, Dennis. Ames knows what I'm talking about!) But also, I don't want to go around and discuss this with any of them unless I know that there is anything to discuss.
Rinna is one of those rare individuals who know me so well, that she knows the root of my problem before I know it. And so, when we were talking about Matt and the whole non boyfriend capacity that he currently resides in, she caught root of most of the problem before I could catch up.
Like how I am projecting my desires for him and I to be more than we are onto where we are now, and not giving him any of the non boyfriend wiggle room that he should have. Ie, getting to comment on JS. (Rolling eyes. I still think that he should know better, but I'm not the one who's majoring in Psych.) He's totally free to do so, and it's like when I tell him that I'm in love with Finn (Except that it SO isn't!) We are free to make comments on stuff like that, because we're NOT ATTACHED TO EACH OTHER.
I hate it when she's right.
She also thinks that I'm picking fights with him. Which is probably true. She thinks I'm frustrated. Which is true. She thinks I need some action. Which is true.
However, I can't seem to apprecitate any guys that aren't Matt or Australian.
Hence my problem.
Gah!
So that leaves me sitting here, listening to Bad Boyfriend, by Garbage, DLing all sorts of crap from LW. Frustrated.
And I didn't let the 'dying alone' comment go. She did apologize. We both tend to lose our tempers really quickly, especially with each other. It's that whole 'I can get mad at you because I know that you'll still love me, no matter what' thing you get with the friends that you've had for eons and know will never leave you for someone better.
Besides, there isn't anyone better. I'm pretty awesome, if I do say so myself!
Katherine
posted by rosie4299 at 7:54 PM
2 Comments:
well, i'm glad you have such insightful, lovely, knowledgeable friends. . . and she's right. you do love him, you don't want wiggle room, and you do need some action. and it will happen. As M says, it's all about timing.
i'm so glad you made up with her, as it sounds like it was a huge relief in many ways. i do think Matt should be smacked for sticking up for JS. that's just wrong. very wrong. Your love of Finn is way different. And I wouldn't bet that your love of hte Aussie doesn't bother Matt. It would, esp if he knew of our plans to find our dream men some day.
You can ask me later about the addy I scored last night. M scored another kind of addy. We were sad, sad people last night, but boy was it fun. Sorry I missed you tonight! Maybe tomorrow--it's my day off!
ames
sad, sad, that we are, but together, it was chaotic! :D
and JS has enough supporters. tell matt that he needs to support the challenged ones.
i propose you do what debra messing did to dermont mulroney in the wedding date. you'd so get him to see things your way....
~M
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